I Know The Plans I Have For You!

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me” Psalm 138:8

This week has been my last working week here in South Africa; it’s been good, a little harder than usual. I’ve been dreading writing this blog because I knew it’ll be my last one to add to my ‘South Africa’ collection and I knew I wouldn’t be writing another blog whilst being in South Africa which makes me really sad. But my mum has been encouraging me to carry on writing a blog when I get back to England so maybe I will, but I don’t think it will be anywhere near as exciting!

In the Links Office this week I have been preparing for a presentation I will be doing at Connections church on Sunday 29th. Although James (The Links project co-ordinator) gave me a subject which is I still didn’t know exactly what to write or say but he’s been helping me with it and I think I have it sorted. I’m a bit worried not about speaking in front of the church just that what I will be speaking about won’t make sense but later on I will be performing my presentation for James so hopefully we will see if things make sense or not.
I never thought I’d find myself enjoying being in an office this much, although I get a numb bum and my back aches sometimes it has been so worth it! I have learnt so much more than I thought I would. Granddad and James have been a big part in my learning, they have taught me a lot even from me just spending time with them and I hope they agree that it has been fun; we have had a lot of laughs. They are memories and lessons I will hopefully remember forever.

On Sunday I had the chance to go to a different church with Nan and Granddad. Granddad had spoke their on the Saturday at a conference that the church led and they invited me to tag along with them on the Sunday. The church is called Rock Covenant which is in Strand about an hour away and mostly Cape Coloureds go. When I got there I knew it was going to be good, everyone just had so much energy and there was a great atmosphere. Then the worship began and it was amazing, it sounded lovely, was energetic and they all started dancing, randomly where they were seated and then a group of ladies came to the front with their flowing skirts, tambourines and ribbons and performed a simple routine round in a circle which just looked so beautiful, it was fascinating! It brought me such joy! It was the best worship I’ve experienced for a few months, I just thought to myself that all churches should be like this, they should sing joyful energetic songs that make them happy because church should be a time to celebrate God and really let loose in his presence.

Then my last working week began and I realised I had 2 weeks till I was going back to England. Since Monday I’ve been thinking about it a lot, in the evenings or when I’ve been alone and it dawns on me even more and makes me feel low. Since a few years back I’ve found it really hard and challenging coming back from places, even just 2 week holidays I hate it, it makes me anxious and I absolutely dread it. It’s a horrible feeling, the last week before you’re going back to your home, you’re battling between loving being in a place you love that at the time is your home and then leaving the place you love and going back to your ‘so called’ home but to see family and friends that are missing you. It’s hard enjoying your LAST week somewhere that you love.

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27

I’ve also been thinking about my future, wondering what’s going to happen when I get back, if things will plan out how I think they will or what!? I’m planning on getting back, applying for Job Seekers Allowance and until I get a job I’m just going to be out everyday giving out CV’s, ringing and emailing people, hoping and praying that I will soon enough get a job. But it doesn’t sound very exciting does it!? I don’t think it so...
I was hoping while I was here I’d figure out what I want in my future, what I desire and what road God wants me to take, but I still don’t know. Some people love the thought of not knowing what their future holds, I’m quite laid back but for some reason that thought scares the life out of me!  

 A lot of the youth I have met here have great jobs in the areas they love and I’ve been struggling with thinking that I will never have a job I enjoy, I will never have a job as good as them. And then I realise that their jobs aren’t for me, they are for them. They are doing what they are good at, using their gifts and my gift is something different, my gift is for me, it’s something I enjoy and it’s what God has put in my heart and it takes me to Romans 12:6...

“Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing                                              ourselves with each other or trying to be something we aren’t”. 

I’ve prayed so much this week and spent so much time speaking to God about everything that is on my mind, I’m still struggling with these feelings a little but now and then I’m reminded that everything WILL be okay, that God has amazing plans for me, he has something so perfect that will satisfy my heart, that isn’t made for anyone else but just for me...

And I’m going back to home to an amazing family that are waiting for me...

How amazing is that!? What more could you want!?

“Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done, and won't need to compare himself with someone else.” Galatians 6:4

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I’ve also got an amazing week lined up, I’m going out tonight with some friends tonight for probably my last South African clubbing experience, sad times! Then on Monday I am going away for a few days with Nan and Granddad. We will be driving to the North East of South Africa to go on Safari and to a place called Montague Springs which I am really excited about!!!

Then I am having a Braai (which means Bbq) at my house, with some friends as a final Goodbye.

All work, No play?

I don't think so...This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands...

Yes! Camel riding is as fun as it looks!

Break my heart for what breaks yours!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 
John 16:33

It’s been a short but good week; Monday was a public holiday so we’ve all had a really long relaxing weekend which was lovely!

On Tuesday we got back in the office and back to work. I’ve been working on articles this week to add to our ‘Being A Volunteer’ series, it’s actually been hard as my last few haven’t been very good and I didn’t know exactly what to write. It’s a shame because they were my last ones but I’m still happy because I’ve learnt a lot from writing them. I’ve also been preparing for a presentation that I will be doing on my last Sunday at Connections church; it will be about serving and my experience volunteering for Links. It’s all very nerve racking but I’m actually looking forward to it. I get nervous speaking in front of people especially church’s but I do really enjoy it as the same time, I always feel really proud of myself after and feel as though I have achieved something.

This is my second from last blog post and I’ve thinking about my blogs a lot as I’ve really been hoping that my last few ones are really good, I think I’ve been thinking a little too much and blocking out what God wants to talk to me about but in the end it does always get through and I’ve found it really exciting waiting on God and blogging about what he wants me to say.

Today I got a little too excited about blogging and had so many things I wanted to write about and I started writing loads in my diary but I realised if I wrote everything  then it would be a bit of a mess.

When you have really close friendships/relationships do you ever find yourself feeling down when they’re down and rejoicing when they are?

I do. I find it particularly hard to be happy when I know my family or best friends aren’t. When I feel like this I know that’s when my heart is involved, when I’m emotionally attached and when I really care and love them.  Recently when I’ve read the bible or blogs, stories and articles about God or about what God is doing I’ve found myself getting very choked up. Especially when I’ve read stories about when God has been or felt heartbroken, I just can’t imagine how he feels.

“Show me how to love like You have loved me, Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause, As I walk from earth into eternity” 
(Hillsong United – Hosanna)

Have you ever cried over your best friends or sister’s hurt, pain and heartbreak? It’s like that.

Now I know that I really do truly care about God and that I don’t want to break his heart anymore. He’s my best friend, my sister, my everything. He has caught my heart and I’m now so attached.

I think it’s amazing that even though you can’t see God you can have a relationship with him that feels more real than anything earthly. Your missing out if you haven’t experienced it.

"Eternal life is to know you, the only true God, and to know Jesus Christ, the one you sent”
John 17:3

“Because you have seen me, you have believed...

Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

 John 20:29

I’ve had such a good week, I haven’t done anything majorly exciting but I’ve realised I’ve been feeling so peaceful. Over the past 2 months I’ve been praying for peace and It’s finally here and the timing is perfect. I’ll be leaving South Africa in 2 and a half weeks and I’ve been dreading it but all I feel now is peace, It’s wonderful!                                                                                                                            


As I was writing this blog this song came on – Celine Dion-Alive  
It’s a beautiful song, it gives me peace.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. 

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” 

John 14:27

A Kiss from God

This week I have been asked to write my blog early. I normally write it on Fridays but seeing as Friday is a public holiday, I needed to get started early.

There’s not much to say about work / volunteering as my week has only just began. Overall, though, it’s still going really well, I’m still enjoying serving Links, Connections and God.

I was in the Links office yesterday as Ham, the Connections church leader, didn’t need me at his office. I used the opportunity to pull all my website review results together and finished a further article in the ‘Being A Volunteer’ blog series http://www.linksinternationalsa.com/category/being-a-volunteer-resource
I was a bit worried about writing my blog today because I didn’t think I’d have much to write about as it’s only Tuesday.  So what I did was spend most of this morning thinking, praying, listening to my favourite Christian songs and… God spoke to me about a lot of things!

This week I’ve been spending a lot of personal time with God.  If you read my last blog post, you will know I was challenged by my older sister to spend more personal time with God. Taking her advice, I’ve been going for long walks along the beach recently.

When I went for a walk yesterday I pretended God was beside me, walking with me. But then I realised there was no need to pretend because he is always right there, walking beside me.                                How amazing!

I started wondering ‘How can people doubt you?’ but realised that I’ve spent most of my life doubting God up until now. As I’ve fallen more and more in love with God I’ve found myself doubting him less and less. I think it’s just like falling in love with any human, the more you fall in love with them the more you forget about the bad and you grow in hope and faith.

“Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side.                                    Stop doubting and believe.” John 20:27

As a young woman, I desire to fall in love – just like most women do. I think falling in love with God is an important part of your relationship with Him, because it’s a desire God places in a women’s heart. He wants us to fall in love with him and He loves us falling in love with Him.

 Women admire beauty. As a result of God, who knows this, showing me His beauty I have fallen so in love with him. I love waking up to this wonderful country, surrounded by sunshine, sea, flowers and beautiful mountains and it was all created by Him. I am just in awe!

I’ve been reading a book since I have been here called Captivating – Unveiling the mystery of a Women’s Soul, which I would highly recommend! In one chapter Stasi – the author – spoke about a trip she and her husband went on and her husband snuck away for some time alone with God.  

 “… down to the beach where he walked and prayed and finally sat in the sand to watch the waves upon the sea. Then he saw it. A huge plume of water shot up into the sky, and a massive humpback whale appeared right before him, impossibly close to shore. No one else was near. The time of the whale’s annual migration had long passed. John knew immediately that this was a gift from God to his heart alone, a gift from the lover of his heart”. 

Stasi’s husband told her about what happened. She was happy for him but she wanted a kiss for herself. So when they went on another trip Stasi decided to take some time out to spend with God and she asked God for a whale as a gift.

“After a while, with no whale in sight, I got up and continued to walk. It was early spring, waves crashing, seagulls crying. The northern coast of California is rocky and as I picked my way through, I rounded a corner and came upon a starfish, a beautiful orange starfish. And I knew at once it was God’s gift to me, his kiss. He didn’t give me a whale; no, that was for John alone. For me, unique to me, he gave a stunning starfish. I thanked him for it, then rounded the next bend and came upon a sight I will never forget. There before me, behind me, surrounding me, were hundreds of starfish. Zillions of them. There were purple ones, orange ones and blue ones, all sizes. I burst into joyful laughter, my heart exploding inside me.”

While I was reading this I had tears running down my cheeks, just reading it and imagining it made me fall in love with God and like Stasi I wanted a kiss for myself. I didn’t know what it was going to be, or when I was going to get it but I knew I would eventually get one and I was prepared to wait.

My kiss came quite soon after I asked for one. Between the March 19th and 26th, we went on a ministry trip to Lower Gweru, Zimbabwe, to do some training with the local people. Lower Gweru isn’t in the bush but it is very close; it’s out of town, quiet and beautiful. One evening after I had brushed my teeth I decided to go outside quickly to see the dogs. I looked up at the sky and the stars were so bright they scared me. It took me a moment to realise what they were, I had never seen so many so brightly in my life. I'm telling you they were sososo amazing, I was in awe and so overwhelmed. I just kept giggling and like Stasi my heart just exploded and I knew that was my kiss from God to me!

 I was planning on going to bed but after that I was too restless (in a good way).

How could you not love such a beautiful God!?

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4: 9-10